This journey will not be easy. Raising a child with special needs, if you ask any parent currently doing so, will need so much from you and the rest of your family, then you presently realize. It is, however, not without its rewards, as in the midst of all that struggle, there is something truly special about it. You only need to contend with the reality that there will be plenty of self-pity, doubt, frustration, anger, anxiety, and despair at times. It will feel unfair that one child should have to endure so much, or that your family had to be the one with a child with special needs. But allowing negativity to spread does not help anyone, no matter how hard to avoid or cliché that may sound.
No one looks forward to having to raise a child with special needs. You find yourself in that situation, and you have to make the most of it. If you ask those who have done it for longer than you, they will offer you certain gems of advice you would be wise to heed. Read this article for more information about raising a special needs child.
You need to appreciate the present moment. Do not dwell on how good you had it before the child was born. Do not wish for a different outcome, fantasizing about life where you had no such responsibilities. You can only live this present life. Escaping from it does nothing to change it. It is not easy, and no one said it would. Once you accept your situation, it becomes easier to cope with it. Most frustrations, you will find, stem from that comparison and thoughts of a different present. Acceptance makes your mind see things for what they are, and to find ways to make the most of it.
You need moments when you can feel sad and even cry. Taking things as being sunny and rosy may be delusional. Things are not as well as they ought to be. This, by no means, does not contradict the first observation. It only means that as a human being, the situation will take its toll on you. Instead of wallowing in the past, or thinking of a different outcome, you need to give those thoughts, feelings, and emotions a safe outlet. Giving yourself some time to feel that pain and sadness, and allowing it to pass through you is the best way. Which is why we say, it is fine sometimes to mourn. Only do it for a specific period, and let it completely end there.
Avoid falling for the trap of comparing your kids. It is only human to sometimes compare your child with special needs to their siblings or other kids around you. But it is best if you do not allow those feelings of envy or jealousy to take root. Focusing on how easy other kids have it, how fuller their lives seem, and how much they are experiencing life to how hard your child has, it does nothing to remedy the situation. Allowing resentment to breed is not healthy for you or your child.
There are so many other gems of advice that will prove beneficial for you as you get to grips with your present reality. You can check them out on this site.
